Nehamiah reminds us that God led the Israelites through the wilderness with a cloudy pillar by day and a pillar of fire by night (Neh 9:12). As I reflect on this, I realize that God leads us also in this way. Perhaps this manner that He leads us is often times what trips us up. Not to say that it's God's fault and that He should reexamine the way He leads us, but that we need to seek to understand who God is and how He operates. And, even more, to learn to trust and be patient in the wilderness. For though it may seem drab, dry, boring, uneventful and even confusing, God is working. He is using this time to prepare the way for us -- to grow us, if we will let Him.
The Israelites grew weary of following this cloudy pillar, day after day -- they grew anxious and frustrated and began to question God. They began to demand more and suggest that maybe this was all just a joke. They were no longer satisfied with the Manna sent from heaven (the food of Angels by the way!), no, they wanted meat! Can you relate? I can. It is often at this point we tend to turn back and seek satisfaction in the world.. for there we can find immediate gratification. But, this proves only temporary, and before we know it, we are looking for something new to gratify us. And, this goes on and on until we are back to the beginning, humbled and ready to, once again, follow God... under the cloud... through the wilderness.
It has been my experience that when I'm at the crossroads in life and feel pressed to make a decision, God seems silent. I'm looking for the burning bush where I suddenly hear His voice and where the direction to take is clear, but more often then not, His voice is heard through the clouds-one baby step at a time. The problem then, is not that God is willfully withholding His guidance in my life, but that I want it when I want it--or when I think I need it. I'm impatient. Yet God operates in His timing, not ours. He gently leads us, step-by-step, with a cloudy pillar. I find this frustrating at times because I am human and I want to see the whole big picture--I want to know the how, when, where and why's of it all. Yet, I can't see the big picture through the clouds, at least not at the moment.
I can't see the blue skies on a cloudy day, yet I know they are there. Just get on a plane and climb the altitudes and you'll see this to be true! But, after many days under cloud cover, it is easy to forget there is a blue sky. This is where I have to trust God and believe ..."that all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose". (Romans 8:28)
If we become discontent and feel that God is not moving quickly enough, we tend to make decisions that are not in line with His will for our lives. These always end up as major setbacks in fulfilling our purpose. We think we know best, but we don't. I'll end with this ... "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6.
